#my boo! i miss her so
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took a stab at arcane style pearl and etho :J
this was supposed to be a quick(er) study but i ended up coloring it anyway !!! i personally prefer the original grayscale version over the colored ones (especially etho);;
#pearlescentmoon#ethoslab#hermitcraft#life series#this was fun!!! ive been having so much fun trying out new things#pearl definitely leans closer to cc!pearl but like . her face is right there and shes gorgeous why change anything#but i am also not a realism artist whatsoever so ... i tried pearl i love you#boo at my boring etho design#i need to think of a better mask design for him but head empty still#eydidraws#my art#mcyt#hc#trafficblr#also fun to paint again#i miss rendering ive just been doing flats
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I cant believe these live in my house with me
#like. oh my god.#I don’t talk about my guinea pigs that often on here but I need u guys to know that they exist and I love them so fucking much#guinea pigs#the one on the left is boo berry#middle is trix#right is cocoa puff#booboo is a neutered boar and he’s the sweetest little baby ever. he’s so laid back and calm#trix is skittish and very feisty#cocoa puff is a grouchy old lady these days but in her youth she was a very intelligent and friendly piggie#louie.txt#I used to have another one named coffee bean but she sadly passed away recently#so I adopted trix and booboo as companions for cocoa puff#The introduction went really well but I think cocoa puff is a bit thrown off bc trix and booboo are young (trix is 11mo booboo is 2y)#shes like get these goddamn kids off my lawn!!!!!!#we both miss coffee bean a lot#we had some time to prepare bc she was sick for a couple months before her passing#but waking up one morning to find her dying was very shocking and traumatizing#she was my little baby i miss her#she was skittish and shy but sweet. no hint of attitude in her she was just anxious#unlike trix who is both anxious and full of unbridled rage#anyways#Rest In Peace Coffee Bean youll always be my little baby
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bawdy.....
#oc: Nadia Solovyova#nadia coded#my anatomy is trash so please dont boo me 😭#but sculpting her body is fun#i miss playing with her in blender#🥹🥹🥹#blender render#???#blender talk
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yall ever just project so hard on a comfort character ship you go "yeah theyre t4t now"
yeah.. good times
anyways gohan and videl are t4t and in this essay i will
#barns.txt#dragon ball#hanvi#gohan#videl#trans#look i just see these two especially in early boo arc and go#“videl is so demi transgirl and gohan is so gnc transmasc”#its a problem /j#like damn bro i miss old videl javing gnc outfits and being more butch..#we can have both butch and femme trans girl in one package!#and thats what videl feels like to me...#if only they kept her using butch outfits later in the series 💔#as for gohan well#literally my fav db character and hes had many gnc looks over the series#which makes me think... sir you seem pretty gnc trans guy#and so the kinnie in me also is taking rhat and running with it#i know what i get to do in my rewrite with them :)#ive seen some posts abt trans videl and gohan too that have also helped solidify this headcanon#so yeah#thanks for coming to my ted talk
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Isiah probably thinking omgggg why am i the only one popping my Fucking pussy rn. i’m the only bitch serving cunt here 😭😭😭 omg 😭 i’m soooo embarrassed 😭😭
#wheres Billiam. i need the tall freak to match my little freak#isiah the fiery shortest of her squad libero of the volleyball whos 'just good friends' with rich tall asshole footballer bill#and magic extroverted and cheery but Very competitive captain of the volleyball team (only bcs liberos cant be)#forced to share a bus back home with the bowling team bcs they missed their ride taking kissing selfies with each other#'pretending' to be coming out as lesbians so theyll be snapchat famous for one day#they have to sit and cheer for the bowling team as they finish their championship match while they all wait for the bus to come#isiah makes snide comments via whispers in magics ears and magic breaks out laughing especially when theyre abt a bowling hick from french#lick#but quickly magic starts finding himself getting really into it and he jumps up and cheers everytime larry gets a strike#and boos and thumbs down viciously when the enemy doe#isiah is Immensely bored. spamming bill to just steal his dad's keys and drive his car over here so he can rescue him#magic and isiah get included in their championship photo and even get a medal of their own#magic is very pleased and he shows it off any chance he can get. isiah takes a bite out of his
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finally got round to watching doctor who and my only take so far is that RTD has been trying to be Moffat. and I don't like Moffat, so. pretty gutted about it.
#visually lovely. some fun moments. missing some vital elements of basic narrative tho.#plotholes galore and lacking characterisation and enjoyable relationships#who is ruby? i dont really care. millie is great but youve failed to give her life#ive heard theres a black mirror esque ep coming so. idk.#i hope i will change my mind. i keep seeing hints of good stuff come through#but i fear the overall arc of this series has moffs fur coat and no knickers approach and i hate it. boo.#helen speaks#er idk how to tag this#dont really want it in the tags ngl#I'll probably only post one more take when we get to the finale so you wont need to blacklist anything tbh lmao
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my coworker is a couple days away from handing in her resignation and someone came in today to ask if we were hiring and she goes ‘yeah we’re actually hiring in about two weeks’ hhahaha. I love her.
#she’s going to leave me as the sole female employee of this company tho boo#especially bc it’s something we both know is a problem w the company it’s been so nice to have someone who gets it#but I’m happy for her and the place she’s probably moving to is still close enough to see her.. but I will sorely miss#and honestly don’t know how much longer I’ll last without her#like my problem is more so that im over hospo rather than this job so I’ll probably stick with it cuz it is the best hospo job I’ve ever had#but still… luv her
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i think after almost 22 years i am legally allowed to perform one (1) intentional emotional manipulation on my mother. right?
#i just really want my cat back#but i dont have a car and im dependent on those stupid fucking trains#the deal was that i get on the train and she gets into her car and we meet halfway between our cities#but now she's like 'oh well actually i no longer have to do that thing i had to do in Poznań so it's pointless for me to come'#like GIRL. this is my fucking cat you're holding hostage. i would gladly spend 7 hours on the train to go pick her up myself but guess what#the trains fucking hate me and there's literally no way for me to manage that and come back home before tomorrow#like oh my god its not my fault your husband has cancer like get over it amiright? stop booing me.#my kitty is more important than his lame ass pet cancer#godddddddd im so mad#i miss my little bitch :(
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imagining my girl ati mahariel in bg3 and by god she would get along with karlach. alarmingly so. they would absolutely annihilate something <3
#ati would get thrown. she would love it#also my fucking god i cant even IMAGINE ati with jaheira. she was already homesick and missing mommy in ostagar. another journey would KILL#her. oh she would be also be missing zevrn SO bad :((#FUCKING!! MINSC&BOO!!! IMMEDIATE BESTIES#oohhh she would show sh all the cool animals she can summon. which is. uh. a bear. which hals would possibly like to see too?#dunny as hell throwing a non-mage into a different universe kind of bc she knows things are off but y'know. she shoots her arrows alls fine#idk how shed feel about astarion bc. okk yea she would find him funny and if they got close she would cry her eyes out#out of astarions sight ofc. he would remind her of zev a bit and she likes the idea of introducing the two if possible#hey do you guys think ceremorphosis stops the effects of the blight? does ati get a restful sleep? does she not hear the call and such?#does it give her more time?
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Mario Brain rot slapping again I’m so sorry gamers and to my friends *cries*
#I LOVE when I wanna draw so much stuff at once I cant bc I can’t focus on it all#like grrr…I miss doing 5 drawings all at once…#some art I wanna draw being Mario cuphead and oc stuff#mainly rn if I wanna draw Mario art I wanna make my OC…#being a princess of the boos#I made her when I was younger
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If I do purchase a new laptop tomorrow I am going to put so many characters in so many situations
#rip my third hand gamer laptop you will be missed#got me through my senior seminar with fans whirring and keys glowing when I needed her most#not thrilled to be going into my third laptop of the last year but. that’s life?#og laptop from high school exploded on the inside (boo) while I was watching a danisnotonfire (ironic) video for the first time since hs#replaced the motherboard and it lasted until November when it just refused to be functional#gf’s brother graciously gave me a rog he had bought to fiddle with (infinite thank yous) so I could finish school#rog died on Monday (F in chat) which trying to watch a new Netflix show#has anyone seen Decameron how is it#so new laptop for grad school….. back to school sales please be happening#all this to say I have been deprived of the ability to write and now ALL I want to do is write#the list of fic ideas grows the WIPs sit dormant in docs….
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if teenage years are the best years of my life why am i apologising to the little girl in my head why am i fearing my family falling apart why am i failing to accept my bio family are not good for me why am i worried about grades and jobs and life why am i preparing to mourn my best friend why am i fearing growing old why do i miss what i never had why do i miss people who don’t miss me why am i disgusted by my own urges, wants and needs why do i cry over the things i love the most why do i seek comfort in fiction because reality is against me why do i fear the touch i crave why do i feel i am dying
#thinking a bit too hard now#am i even going to survive long enough to make it all ok#why does nobody see i’m a kid#also side note obsession hurts so fucking bad especially when your object causes guilt because you know it should be someone else#pattern recognition is a curse#mmm yknow what fuck it i’m gonna elaborate briefly on everything because fuck silence i deserve to be heard for once#apologising to Boo because i ruined her life#i fear my family falling apart because most of us want to die and it’s impossible to keep everyone happy it seems#the bio family kinda speaks for itself but uuuh yeah i am not accepting my sister is bad#worried about grades and jobs because there’s a lot less money at home now but my brothers won’t cut back so i have to#which is really fucking up my progress with my ed#preparing to mourn because Angel’s been dying a while now and now he’s trying to finish the job himself#fearing growing old because will i really be better or will i spend my life miserable and psychotic#i miss Vermin again#i want him back but he was never here#i miss Wade#but i don’t think he misses me#he’s been online he’s just ignoring me#disgusted because hypersexuality is a bitch and i’ve tried sliding it into conversations with people i really need to fucking talk about it#it’s starting to feel suffocating but i’m too fucking embarrassed still#like i know it’s just a coping mechanism for all the trauma but#i can’t help feeling disgusting still#i cry over my family near every day because i just want us to be fucking happy for once#i have been clinging so hard to newer headspace members to give the others a break#two of them just happened to take the form of Chris Redfield and Mewtwo#again a sex thing i want to feel like my husbands want me but i’m too scared to do anything yet#ok confession done i’m gonna regret this tomorrow but whatever who really cares
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How do I find a man?! How do I keep a man!! Why did he make ship canceled 😭
#writings#I’m sad about my fav boo#I think he figured out I hated his dog#lmao#it’s not that deep#but I miss him#it was over though I wanted it to be over lol#he dicked me down so fucking good like babygirl will remember this dick all her life#and I FUCKING WILL
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me… sad boy
#I was going to whine a lot but why lot word when few word do trick?#I have been… soooooo anxious and depressed and I feel like I’m going to die soon & the world is ending the world is empty & I’m alone in it#I feel so sick#I need to get out and do something. I always need to get out and I never do and I’m dumb#so maybe I’ll just get messed up and stay in my room#I can’t sleep. I wake up tired and hurting. I can’t do anything.#woe is fucking me amirite?#also I just finished Black Sails and I cried a lot. why did I think getting emotionally attached to a show and finishing it was smart?#that’s not important. I mean it is but not really. what’s important is I constantly feel like the end is always looming over me#I miss my therapist but I’m scared to ever see him again.#same reason I’m scared to be around anyone outside of my immediate family: I’m a failure & I can’t bear to see that reflected in their eyes#so he joins a long list of people I can’t talk to anyone along with my dad and countless old friends#hey wait why did I segue to this?#boo hoo#analytically. logically. I can look past this and see how irrational these thoughts are#but goddamn if there’s not something chemical that just makes me feel sick and scared and I’m having a doozy of a time living with it#because Ian you need to work on long term goals. not just quick fixes like I dunno fucking eating pizza or playing video games#sorry. just wanted to vent. it’s been building up in me for days and I needed a quick whine#I shaved. I’m gonna get a haircut maybe tomorrow. if only to stave off my unhealthy feelings of ‘just shave your head at 3am’#my mom is finally reaching the point where she doesn’t need me to chauffeur her around all the time#and my brothers are finishing their semesters at school and also both have licenses now#so I think I can stop using those as excuses and try to… I dunno. live for myself now. that sounds cheesy.#gonna go get a low paying job doing something mindless so I can have extra cash for being alive#god I need a hug so bad#that’s not even… like… not even a lighthearted joke. I think if someone sincerely held me for a few minutes it would fix me. a little bit.#this is too much information#sorry I love you goodbye forever#but hey… really… I love ya… I mean maybe. not really. kind of. I appreciate ya and I’m here for ya… in spirit. like a ghost. a cool ghost.#you can ignore this#text
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i miss high school but only!! only for the science classes I took. I wanna snap on some blue gloves again with a scalpel, some forceps, flat ended tweezers, some pins n a tray with some Thing in it for me to cut open
#if I'd had the opportunity I would've taken physiology courses in college but alas. those were expensive n not my major#alas all the ones that would've let me actually cut stuff open were higher level courses for majors only#I love dissections I miss dissections boo hoo hoo#I miss my human musculoskeletal physiology class the most I think of her so fondly#I loved handling skeletons n putting them together piece by piece#wistfully daydreaming about the human hand I got to poke around in n the first skull I ever held#look at my posts boy#show me your bones show me your guts
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The unfortunate knowledge that there is a VAST difference between "being tired" and "being able to fall asleep"
#brothers i have been so very miserable lately#sleep used to be my boo wtf happened#i miss her i miss my beautiful wife named sleep#kaz speaks
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